I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
