We're facebook friends in real life
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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