I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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