i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You took a bar mat shot.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize