So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize