shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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