you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
