We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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