My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
