Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
