Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
