Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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