people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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