The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I smell like Dick and happiness
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
