At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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