You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
