i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize