well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
