so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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