ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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