i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
