I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize