If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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