My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
