i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
