idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
