yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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