I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How does it feel to date your dad?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
