i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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