So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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