he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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