Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
