i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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