Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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