Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
