I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
