Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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