Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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