Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
