why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
