I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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