Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
