i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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