life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
