These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
