youre lurking in front of me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
