so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
