I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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