Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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