Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
