People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
