I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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