MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
