Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
