I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
