tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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