I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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