Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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