AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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